As a professional dog trainer as well as a professional pet photographer, this is a post that I've wanted to write for a very long time. I cover this in every single basic obedience class that I teach - we were all taught the WRONG WAY to greet dogs! Bending over them and sticking our hand in their face is just about the worst way to greet a dog!
Potter is owned and loved by one of my dog trainer friends, Ashton, and when I had him in my Carrollton studio recently for a portrait session, I asked her if we might take some pictures for this post and she agreed to man the camera while I got totally inappropriate with her dog (it's good to have friends like this). So all photo credit goes to Ms. Ashton Murphy for this post (I did set everything up though, but she pushed the button).
Let me set the scene; Potter is a great dog. Well socialized, friendly and super well trained. He sort of knows me. We'd just spent the better part of an hour photographing him, but Ashton was handling him; I was behind the camera. Ashton and I discussed how he'd tolerate some fairly inappropriate behavior from me and she was confident that he'd be resilient enough to handle it and maybe we'd capture some reactions. Boy did we capture some classic reactions! Potter gave us a few text book "I am NOT loving this" reactions and rest assured he and I had a cookie party afterward so I could apologize for being so rude.
(click on any image to view full screen)
The Top 3 WRONG Things To Do When Greeting A Dog
Google "How not to greet a dog" and you'll get tons of returns with lots of great information but I've decided to focus on what I think are the three most common, and in one case dangerous, mistakes made when greeting dogs; petting on the top of the head, gushing over dogs and hugging. Read on for more information on these but more importantly, look at the images. I mean REALLY LOOK at them (and your children too) so you can become well versed in reading some of the subtle signs of stress in a dog that almost always precede a bite.
I often hear "The dog just bit out of nowhere". Nope. That's rarely the case. Most dogs will go through an escalation path of distance increasing behaviors such as growling, snarling, lunging and snapping before they ever get to a bite (distance increasing means the behaviors are happening in an attempt to put more distance between the dog and whatever is causing them stress). Why do they bite? Because all their previous requests for distance went unheeded.
It's like if you told someone nicely "Please don't do that", and they kept doing it. You'd then repeat it, but more sternly, but still it goes on. You'd eventually raise your voice, maybe even yell. Heck, if you felt that you were in danger, you might even hit, or push the person to get them to stop. Now you know how your dog feels. Our dogs give us a lot of information, we just need to listen to them.
Number 1: Most Dogs Don't Like To Be Petted On The Top Of The Head
You pat a dog on the head right? Wrong! Yes, your own dog will eventually tolerate this from you, and maybe even like it, but getting thumped on the head by a stranger is far from what most dogs prefer and might even be perceived as threatening. And speaking of thumping - dogs don't really like that so much either. They like stroking and scratching (read more on "How you pet your dog matters" here).
Potter is a lovely dog, but you can see below that he was not a fan of my reaching over his head, he gave very clear signals (avoiding and a lip lick/tongue flick) that he was not enjoying it. If you'd like to learn more subtle signs of stress in dogs, I suggest you check out the graphics that the wonderful Lili Chin creates and offers for free download to help educate the public. The cartoon drawings are particularly engaging to help children recognize the signs of stress and fear in pets.
Number 2: Try To Control YOURSELF
I know this can be a tough one, especially when we see a puppy. We're magnetized to them and just want to pick them up, squeeze 'em and smooch them all over. Or maybe it's a breed you've never seen in person before (I have a client who owns a Komondor, if you don't know that is, it's the "mop" dog; she can't go anywhere with her dog without being stopped and asked about her).
But here's some breaking news; loud, high-pitched noises and exaggerated facial expressions can frighten a dog, especially puppies. So try to keep it on the down-low when greeting a dog. Better yet, act like you don't even care. Nothing seems to trigger a dog wanting to be petted more than when you withhold it.
Number 3: No Hugging
You've probably seen them on the Internet. The "cute" picture of the child tightly hugging a dog around the neck and the dog has a really wide eye, showing a lot of white. That's called "whale eye" and it's NOT a good thing. Whale eye is a sure sign of stress. Whatever you're doing when you see it, stop. Stop whatever you're doing right now.
And while we're talking about hugging, did you know that over half of the dog bites in the United States are to children? Did you also know that it has been estimated that the likelihood of a child sustaining a dog bite in their lifetime is around 50% and approximately 80% of severe dog bites in children involve the head and neck? In many cases this is because the child was hugging the dog, putting its face in close proximity to the dog's head and not reading the body language.
You might say "My dog likes it when I hug him" and maybe he does. But that's YOUR dog, who has come to either tolerate, or even like, being hugged by his human who he trusts. That's not a new dog whom you've never met. I liken hugging a new dog to French kissing a stranger upon meeting them. Uh, inappropriate! A handshake is more socially acceptable.
I love to hug my dogs so I worked on conditioning them to like it by pairing treats with it, but even with that, I always check for consent when I do it. I give them a squeeze and let go to see if they move away, or push back into me. Sometimes they're not into it on a given day and walk away and I just let it go.
Now Let's Do Things The Right Way - How To Correctly Greet A Dog
After I had abused our budding relationship a bit, I started over with Potter to demonstrate how to properly greet a dog and broke it down to show the key decision points where I let him decide what happens next.
My number one piece of advice is to let the dog set the pace. I've knelt down sideways and extended my hand while avoiding direct eye contact to a number of dogs who don't make a move and that's where the greeting stops. He's clearly communicating "I'm not into that" so why would I force myself upon him?
I point out a few things below that may not be familiar to you, the first being the mention of the vagus nerve which controls relaxation among other things. The vagus nerve can be stimulated by massaging the chest area and since this is below the dog's chin, it's typically an area considered less threatening than reaching over the top of the head. Give a couple of light scratches under the chin is also a good option for first contact.
Another thing that you might not be aware of is "checking for consent". This is a really simple thing to do to gauge whether or not the dog is actually enjoying what you're doing. Some dogs may tolerate something and not move, but their body language tells us they're not enjoying it. Others may be shut down (think "frozen in fear") and not able to move away and others may be in a state of learned helplessness.
When you get to the point of making contact with the dog, touch, pet or scratch three times and withdraw your hand and wait to see what the dog goes. If the dog moves away, that's clear communication that they're not comfortable with that and you should not pursue any further engagement. If they move into you, maybe even poke your hand with their nose, that's a clear "Yes please, I'll have another" and you can proceed, slowly increasing eye contact and orientation toward the dog. If the dog remains neutral, proceed with caution. They may be neutral for one of the reasons mentioned above, or they may just need more time to warm up to you and what your'e doing. If in doubt, err on the side of caution and withdraw.
5 Comments
Feb 1, 2022, 9:28:26 PM
Nancy - Awesome post and the images to demonstrate were great.
Jan 30, 2022, 1:14:28 PM
Darlene - Tracy, you did an awesome job with this post! Your pictures are perfect! And great dog to represent the "body language". Nicely done!!!
Jan 28, 2022, 1:16:24 PM
Elaine - I am sorry, but that whale eye on Potter photo made me chuckle so much. Because it was so very true. His look is priceless (truly a dog that tells you things just by facial expression). We are so on the same page about the right and wrong things to do when greeting dogs. AND, love the Lili Chin link. I am going to download some goodies for sure. Great blog!
Jan 28, 2022, 10:31:28 AM
Nicole - These photos are gold! I love that you were able to show the details that you don't know until you know, and now your readers will KNOW. The last photo is so sweet!
Jan 28, 2022, 9:39:32 AM
Terri - This was really informative and those pictures illustrating the dogs reaction are perfect!